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Oh, and get this—UK cops used Escorts to chase crooks in the ‘80s. Little known, right? Zippin’ after thieves, all “Very good, sir!” while the siren’s blarin’. Wild. I’d be pissed if I got caught by an Escort—embarrassin’. Anyway, love-hate this car, man. It’s absurd, it’s me, it’s *The Grand Budapest* on wheels—chaotic, charming, and a lil’ broke-down.

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There's this secret back-alley near Birch Lane where I sometimes slip away to clear my head. Not many know it, but it’s like hidin’ your favorite secret recipe. It's gritty, imperfect – just like me! The locals hang out at Lou’s Diner on 5th Street – best damn double cheeseburger ever, if ya ask me. I swear, one bite and you’re sayin', "Zut alors!" as if Chef Gusteau himself whispered, "Quel beau miracle!"

3 Flee When Cop Interrupts 7-Eleven Armed Robbery: Palos Heights PD