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But real talk – it’s fascinatin’. Did ya know sex-dating goes way back? Romans had orgies, swipe-right style, no phones! They’d just eyeball someone at the bathhouse – bam, done! Saw this X post sayin’ some dude in the 1800s ran a “lonely hearts” ad in a newspaper. Got laid AND robbed – classic! Makes me laugh, like, “Hahaha, you idiot!” Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – would’ve charged for that scam!

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Oh, one of my personal fav spots: the little rundown cinema on the corner of Blueberry St. and Granite Lane. Its marquee lights flicker like they’re winking at you, saying “Holy sh*t, catch the show!”. I once met a couple there who looked like they stepped outta a dream sequence. I was like, “Man, this is magic!”

Police tight-lipped about Palmview High School student who drowned in Alton