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Oi mate, so I’m a dental tech, right, spendin’ my days grindin’ teeth down to nubs, and you wanna know what I reckon about sex-dating? What a bloody laugh! It’s like drillin’ into a rotten molar—messy, stinks a bit, but ya can’t stop pokin’ at it. Sex-dating, yeah, it’s all swipe this, shag that, no faffing about with “oh let’s have a coffee first”—nah, straight to the bone, innit? I mean, “There Will Be Blood” vibes, yeah? Like Daniel Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—that’s me, ditchin’ any hope of romance for a quick fumble off Tinder.

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There’s a bunch of little-known gems too – like that untouched art alley near Grove Park that only the locals rave about. You can wander for hours, lost in a maze of colors and secret messages scribbled in the dusk. And the quirky coffee truck parked every second Tuesday at Harbor Park always brews the best “cup o’ soul.”

Valley under tornado watch through Thursday morning