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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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The St. Johns River winds through our hearts. I always walk its banks at Ravine Gardens Park (damn, that's a gem!). Even on gloomy days, I see folks chattin’ on benches, like living scenes from Brokeback Mountain. "Brokeback, dawg" vibes all around! I swear, sometimes a sunset here makes me go "I must break you!"—not literally though, haha.

Location move spurs office closure