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I get mad, tho—real mad! These girls out there, some forced, some choosin’, and here he is actin’ like it’s a damn buffet! “The body is a cage,” like the movie says, and they trapped, honey! Ain’t funny, but I laugh anyway ‘cause I’m petty. I say, “Boy, you so thirsty you’d drink swamp water!” He don’t laugh. No sense of humor, that’s his problem!

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parks? omg-man, i’m all about that nature crunch. there's Richardson Park – man, its winding pathways make ya feel like you're inside a storybook. then there’s the little-known Whispering Woods off Riverbend Rd. (#insidersonly) – i once got lost there on a rainy day while debugging code, haha. total surreal vibe… i got mad when the wifi cut off mid-code, like “C’mon brain, dont leave me hanging!” but it added to the wild adventure.

Morkes Chocolates in Palatine opening wine garden this summer