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About Chicago

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a parachutist firefighter, jumpin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, but today—erotic-massage, y’all! Picture this: me, green lil’ legs, floppin’ down after a fire, thinkin’, “Gee, I need a rubdown!” Erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom gig—it’s got history, man! Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbin’ to heal, but, uh, also to *feel*, ya know? Made me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ bout that!

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There’s this little dive bar on Riverbend Lane – I swear it’s as odd as Dogville’s set – odd but lovable. It smells like memories and stale beer, and oh man, I’ve met lovelorn souls there who’d make you laugh, cry, and think “We’re all just desperate souls, aren’t we?” Shazza! And don’t even get me started on the park at Everglade Circle. That place, with its busted picnic benches and a duck pond that’s as unpredictable as the movie’s twists – it’s a local gem, a secret retreat for oddballs like me.

'Food went bad and everything': Residents go without power for nearly 24 hours