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Oh, and the weirdos! Met this one gal, obsessed with feet—kept askin’ for toe pics. Toe pics! I’m like, “What is this, a fetish buffet?” Laughed my ass off, but also—ew, no thanks! Still, beats sittin’ home alone, right? Like Carol says, “I don’t wanna feel alone anymore.” Sex-dating’s my cure—sometimes works, sometimes flops.

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Have I mentioned neighborhoods? The vibe in the Oakdale area is like – totally eclectic – think quaint pubs, quirky indie boutiques, and some secret graffiti spots that are as Instagrammable as they are mysterious. Sometimes I wander off to just vibe along Riverside Commons; yep, that's a lesser-known, rad park spot if you fancy a breather from life's rom-com dramas. There's just a wholesome serenity there – like, "I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!" but softer... and friendlier.

Owasso Police seeking identity of person(s) darting geese and ducks at Elm Creek Park