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About Dallas

So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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Keep your eyes peeled on every corner, friend, 'cause every spot’s got a tale. And trust me, through the eyes of my spa, I see magic in the mundane. Ain’t that some sht? Cheers to Osceola—wild, unpredictable, and always motherf**ing real.

Greater Orlando & Osceola County host third annual Homes Fore All charity golf tournament