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I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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I gotta tell you about Oldtown - tight streets, crammed buildings, but pure vibes. I work just a few blocks from Walnut Park. Y’know, that spot where chill folks read under century-old oaks, right next to Vander’s Bridge cuttin’ through the river? It’s epic. Folks say, "You can feel the hustle in your bones!" And damn, I feel it every day when I knead out knots.

Orlo Vista is 77% complete with flood mitigation project ahead of hurricane season