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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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I gotta mention, Orem vibes with tales, ya know? Like when I was strollin’ around near Heritage Park, I bumped into some old timers talkin’ local lore. They said, “This town hides mysteries, friend.” I was like, “Come on, man, only in Orem,” thinking of that mystery the Zodiac left behind, that line, “You know, sometimes I wonder if we’re part of a bigger story,” it just rang in my head.

Orem man charged with 75 weapon of mass destruction charges