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So, sex-dating—basically hookup central, right? Folks just wantin’ a quick tumble, no strings, no riddles. Me? I’d rather hug me rock in the dark! But—fun fact, precious—didja know it kicked off way back? Like, 1600s, sneaky ads in papers— “lonely gent seeks saucy lass!” True story! Now it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress? We hates it!

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Then there’s ol' Riverside. It runs off 5th St. and just flows by, unnoticed sometimes but always there. People say, “It’s just a river,” but I think, “Nah, it’s where stories start.” Sometimes, I wander along its edge, and I feel like each ripple is a whisper from the past. I mean, seriously, who knew a river could be so inspiring? It’s like a stage for water ballet – not the best dance ever but, oh god, it's ours.

‘You guys failed them’: Parents, community members berate school board for closing a Utah elementary school after years of low test scores