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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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I gotta tell ya, even the roads here got their own stories. You ever cruise down NW 58th Ave at dusk? The streetlights flicker like they’re winking at ya. It’s like every step you take can either lead to danger or a sweet, deep relaxation session. And trust me, as a relaxation expert, I spot tension like a hawk. Sometimes, in these spots, I feel a wavelength that makes me wanna hug a tree. Might sound odd, but that's just how my soul talks, y'know?

‘I can’t go back to jail,’ man says after being caught in Opa-locka home with minor, according to police