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I ask – “How much?” She smirks. “Depends what ya want.” Classic! Total power move. Surprised me – ballsy chick! I’m sweatin’ now. Palms slippery. “Look, I’m no schmuck,” I say – quotin’ Larry Gopnik again. She laughs – loud! “You’re cute,” she goes. Happy moment – felt like a king! But then – sirens. Cops screamin’ down the block. She bolts – gone! Like Hashem himself said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Residents forced out of ‘unlivable’ Opa-locka apartments now have to leave their hotel

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I gotta tell ya, even the roads here got their own stories. You ever cruise down NW 58th Ave at dusk? The streetlights flicker like they’re winking at ya. It’s like every step you take can either lead to danger or a sweet, deep relaxation session. And trust me, as a relaxation expert, I spot tension like a hawk. Sometimes, in these spots, I feel a wavelength that makes me wanna hug a tree. Might sound odd, but that's just how my soul talks, y'know?

Man accused of shooting at Opa-locka commission candidate to be released from jail