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Great Scott, tho—some places mess it up! Greedy parlors, fake “happy endings,” ugh, pisses me off. I’d zap ‘em with my flux capacitor if I could! But when it’s real? Oh man, pure bliss. Friend o’ mine—let’s call him Marty—tried it in Bangkok. Said it was like floatin’ on a cloud, but hornier. “The past is a regret,” Jep’d say, but this? No regrets, baby!

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Look, I'm messy, like my desk at work, but that’s life here. Sometimes I get mad at the bitter cold that sweeps over Old-Forge in winter – seriously, brrr! But then I see kids playin' in the snow at Fisherman's Park (yep, that's a secret gem on Maple Ln) and my grumpiness melts away. It’s like the city hugs ya from the inside.

132 animals rescued from an Old Forge home