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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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Alright, listen up, comrade—I'm here to give ya the lowdown on Okeechobee (us), and imma keep it cold and short, just like me. Yo, this town’s got character, real gritty, ya know? Streets like Main St that cuts through town, draped in palm trees and old storefronts with history. Lake Okeechobee, not just a body of water but a living beast, its waves whisper secrets like life's enigmas, “Be what it is.”

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