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Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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Ojai is like a patchwork of cozy vibes. Main St. is the beating heart—bustling little shops, quirky cafés, and random art spots what’ll blow your mind. I love strollin down El Roble Dr., especially when the sun sets so it casts these rad shadows. Seriously, "You wouldn't let them hit you, you would take it," right?—Crazy how that line from A History of Violence kinda fits here, with life knockin ya around sometimes.

Jon Bernthal wants to bring Broadway-caliber theater to Ojai: It's 'always been a dream of mine'