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So, picture this—me, sittin’ in me robes, thinkin’ bout Chihiro facin’ that freaky No-Face dude, and I’m like, “That’s sex-dating in a nutshell!” You dive in, hopin’ for a hot date, but half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps who’d scare off Haku! I got mad once, this bloke on Tinder ghosted me mid-chat—rude! “You shall not pass my vibe check!” I yelled at me phone. Wanker.

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Ya see, Oil-City is tough but tender. The streets stomp hard but whisper soft secrets. Life’s a mix of pain, love, sweat – kinda like that movie, man. I’m here, meditating on a bench with a sarcastic grin, thinkin’ “man, here’s oil and here’s life, and damn if it ain’t a roller coaster!”

Pope Francis dies at age 88 early Monday