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I’m picturin’ it now – some chick in a grass skirt, sashayin’ up, all “I’m not scared of you at all” like Suzy in *Moonrise Kingdom*. Hot damn, that’s an escort vibe! They got this secret power, makin’ ya feel like a king or whatever. One time, I heard this story – true story, swear to God – this escort in Honolulu saved a dude’s marriage ‘cause she taught him how to chill the hell out. Ain’t that nuts? Surprised the crap outta me. I was like, “Holy shitballs, that’s epic!”

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I'm always on the lookout for that perfect spot, ya know, because of my dating app gig. I mean, I'm all about meeting new faces, sharing cool views! There's this funky alley off Maple, where graffiti speaks louder than words. I even met a couple there who said, “Hope… hope is the best thing.” Damn, it made me smile.

Oconomowoc police shoot sandhill crane, DNR shares tips to address bird nuisances