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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic-ass actuary straight outta Russia, crunchin’ numbers and livin’ wild! Sexual-massage, huh? Let’s dive into this freaky shit—like, it’s massage, but SEXY, ya feel me? Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension buildin’—it’s like *Blue Is the Warmest Color* vibes, when Adèle’s all “I’m trembling, I’m yours,” and you’re like—DAMN, that’s sexual-massage energy! Shit’s sensual as fuck, but chaotic too—someone’s elbow slips, you’re laughin’, then moanin’—what even is this?!

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Then, there's the waterfront by Bayview Park. Ugh, let me tell ya, IBLE - I mean, it's like straight out of a Michael Haneke movie. I swear, those reflective moments hit deep, just like in Amour – “our souls are one”. I stood there one evening, tears in my eyes, feelin’ every bit of that magic. Slay!

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