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You know, in Sweden, where movie from, they big on massage, but no sexy kind, boo! I say, add some spice, make it fun! Sexual-massage, it tricky, cuz you gotta trust, like Oskar trust Eli, or you get bite – or worse, bad rub! I tell my cousin, “Go try, it wild,” he say, “Borat, you crazy,” but he go, come back smiling, very nice! So, my friend, you try, tell me, it worth it or no? Me, I say, “Very nice!” every time!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the Allegheny River! Yeah, it winds right by our neighborhood. I walked along Riverbend Trail and nearly got hypnotized by the sound. There’s that one bench where I once had a heart-to-heart with a stranger. Kinda magic, like a movie scene where everything piles on—sudden, profound, and beautiful.

Woman found guilty of first-degree murder in torture death of Oakmont toddler