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About Dallas

Gets me mad, it does – they charge extra for “happy endins,” sneaky gits, like Gusteau chargin for soup! Happy? Nah, confused n oily, that’s me after. We hates it! Skin all slick, smellin like lavender gone wrong, ughhh. Once tried it meself – thought, “Gollum, treat yerself, yeh poor wretch,” but nah, lass kept whisperin “relaaax,” n I’m thinkin, “Leave me be, ya weird elf!” Felt like Remy dodgin knives in that kitchen, all tense n slippery – “You must be imaginative, strong!” – but I ain’t no chef, just a grumpy sod wantin a nap!

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The heart of the city is in Central Park – small, but packed with character. I mean, there's a tiny little pond right next to the bandstand. It’s where I once set up a quirky “Moulin Rouge!”-indie themed meet-up, complete with a cheeky remix of the movie’s famous show tunes – “The wining, dining, and everything aligning, darling!” Felt like a proper night at the cabaret, I tell ya. And trust me, that night, like, changed the dating scene forever.

Roof collapse at Oakdale Cost Less Food store injures two