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So, “brothel” – old English, means a lowlife, a wretch, then bam, it’s a whorehouse! How’s that for a glow-up? I’m picturin it now – red velvet, smoky air, girls in corsets givin sass. Kinda makes me mad, tho – these dames workin hard, and society’s all “ew, trashy!” Like, c’mon, who’s really the wretch here? I’d storm in there, nasal voice blarin, “You go, girls, get that coin!” Hahaha!

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Local landmarks like the Oak Lawn Park are super chill, man. It's like a hideout straight outta Brokeback Mountain – “the wind couldn't even whisper our secrets” kinda vibe. Yeah, ain't that deep? And, oh man, the river, the Des Plaines flows by, whisperin’ sweet nothings like that trippy movie scene! I sometimes massage dudes who spill the tea on secret spots near the riverbank—places where you can sit, chill, and just feel the soul of the town.

Oak Lawn truck driver Ahmad Jamal Khamees Alhendi accused of making bomb threat that shut down I-85 in Greenville County, SC