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Oh, and da oils—dey smell like victory! Lavender, eucalyptus—my fave’s peppermint, hits ya like a punch! Sometimes I’m lyin’ dere, thinkin’, “Am I in heaven or a spa?” Den I remember—nah, it’s sexual-massage, da ultimate recharge! Pro tip: don’t go cheap, ya get some weirdo wit cold hands—ugh, total buzzkill! Surprised me once, I jumped up, “Hasta la vista, baby!”—never went back dere!

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Alright, listen up, buddy. So I'm runnin' a spa here in Oak-Hills-Place and lemme tell ya – this town's got character. We got Maple Street, ya know, poppin' with diners and quirky little boutiques. Down by Riverbend Park, the water flows like it's singin’ his own jazz tune. Ya ever seen that? Its banks make ya wanna sit and think – deep thoughts, like in "Holy Motors" when they say, “The world is a grand performance!” Capice?

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