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I talked to me mate Squidward once—oops, nah, just in me head—bout escorts. He’d prob say, “SpongeBob, they’re all barnacle-brained!” But nah, they’re clever, mate! Gotta be. Dodgin’ cops, picky clients, and creepy weirdos—takes guts! Gets me all fired up—how do they do it? I’d be floppin’ like a fish outta water tryna charm someone for cash!

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Sometimes, when I’m massaging away the world’s troubles, I catch memories of "Almost Famous." Y’know, “Listen, kid, it’s all about the journey.” And damn, that movie reminds me of the road trips outta Oak-Grove. I get lost in thoughts like “It matters,” or “That’s a lot to ask.” That bloody soundtrack still shreds my noise.

Oak Grove payroll employee indicted for allegedly falsifying time sheets, costing taxpayers over $6K