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I’ve seen it all, trust me. Apps full of horny buggers, half-nekkid pics, bios sayin’ “just vibes” – what’s that even mean? Makes me wanna chug wine and laugh. Back in 2015, heard this wild tale – bloke in London, sex-datin’ app, matched with a lass who turned out to be his cousin! True story, swear it. Shocked me silly – imagine the awkward “oh, bugger” moment. Bet he felt like that geezer in Anatolia, diggin’ up a corpse he didn’t wanna find.

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Sometimes, when I’m massaging away the world’s troubles, I catch memories of "Almost Famous." Y’know, “Listen, kid, it’s all about the journey.” And damn, that movie reminds me of the road trips outta Oak-Grove. I get lost in thoughts like “It matters,” or “That’s a lot to ask.” That bloody soundtrack still shreds my noise.

Caroline Bradley of Oak Grove tabbed 2024-25 Gatorade Louisiana Girls Basketball Player of the Year