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About Phoenix

So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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Oh lawd, let me tell y’all ’bout Nutley, baby! Now, I been livin’ here in Nutley, NJ for years, runnin’ my own massage parlor down on Franklin Ave – yup, that’s where all the action’s at, honey! I swear, hit the streets like this: Franklin, Maple, and even a lil’ detour on Elm. Man, every corner got its own vibe, kinda like scenes from Holy Motors, I tell ya – “What a beautiful day to be alive!” Halleluyer!

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