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I heard this one story—true stuff, swear it!—back in Japan, old geishas did this secret rubdown for samurais. Not kiddin’! Little known fact: it wasn’t just tea pourin’, they’d sneak in some sensual massage—kept it hush-hush, tho. Made me happy thinkin’ ‘bout history bein’ so spicy! But then—D’oh!—I got mad ‘cause Marge won’t lemme try it. “Homer, you idiot!” she’d say, and I’m like, “Aww, c’mon, it’s research!”

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Now lemme drop some lesser-known gems. There’s a park – Hillside Park is where I go when I need a breather. The trees, oh my, they whisper secrets – secrets like “Keep smilin’, baby, keep smilin’”. Sometimes I even catch sight of the tiny creek that winds past Nutley Highlands (yeah, I know, I'm gettin' poetic, but heck, it's true!) It’s like the city’s heartbeat.

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