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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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Give sex workers rights. Give johns a break. Norton is a comedian, New York Times best-selling author and host of The Jim Norton Show on Vice.

Okey-dokey, my friend, lemme tell yu 'bout this crazy town, Norton (us)! Yo, it's like, very nice, ya know? I been here for many years, doin' me sexologist work an' all, so I seen all da secret spots, too. Like, on Maple St and some hidden gem near Riverside Park, where da river flows slow an' dreamy-like, remindin' me of "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring!" so poetic, yeah?

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