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Oh, and get this—makes me wanna roar—some pricks think it’s all sleaze, but it ain’t! Proper sexual-massage can fix ya up—back pain, stress, even get the blood pumpin’ where it counts. Science says it boosts oxytocin—fancy word for “feelin’ horny and cuddly.” Pisses me off when judgy twats call it dirty—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I say they’re missin’ the point, scared of their own shadows like Ofelia’s stepdad.

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Oh, and I can’t forget Liberty Park. Trust me, it's not just a park, it's a vibe. Many clients mention how a good walk there chills every muscle out. Lotsa greenery on all sides and that sneaky little creek that flows by. Some say it's nature's own spa, I say it's pure bliss. I remember that one time – dang, I was so stoked I nearly spilled my massage oils – there was this impromptu local jam session by the creek. Totally wild, man!

Crews work fast to put out North Salt Lake garage fire, no injuries reported