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About Phoenix

Alright, so sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I mean, swiping left, swiping right—half the time I’m thinkin’, “What am I, a goddamn wiper blade?” It’s nuts! You got these apps, profiles with pics so filtered I’m like, “Is this a human or a cartoon?” Pretty, pretty good, sure, if you’re into datin’ a Pixar character! I tried it, okay? Got matched with this gal—bio says “loves adventure.” Adventure, my ass! She shows up, orders a $20 salad, and talks about her cat for an hour. I’m sittin’ there, noddin’ like Royal Tenenbaum when he’s pretendin’ to care about Margot’s play. “I’m not talkin’ about a dance recital!” I wanna scream. Sex-dating’s supposed to be fun, right? Not a freakin’ audition for “Cat Lady: The Movie.”

How do I safely hook up with someone on an app?

I specialize in romantic relationships for individuals and couples, including same-sex couples. With 10 years of experience, I combine empathy and Gottman.

Oh, and the local landmarks! You gotta hit up Oak Grove – that lively part of town packed with artsy shops, funky bookstores and sex positive spaces. Nothing fancy, just raw vibes; like, you’re walking through a gallery of human passion – and, babe, it’s all love! Sometimes I walk there at midnight feeling all rebellious, whispering Beyoncé lyrics to the night: "Who run the world? Love!"

Knife-wielding man shot, killed by police in Chicago's western suburbs