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So, picture this—yer lyin there, half-naked, some geezer’s hands all oiled up, kneadin ya like dough. It’s sensual, sure, but proper therapeutic too! Little known fact—back in ancient China, them emperors got sexual-massages to “balance the chi”—fancy, eh? Probs had concubines slippin jasmine oil everywhere, gigglin. Makes me chuffed thinkin bout it—happy as a pig in muck! Tho once, right, I got this dodgy one—bloke smelled like old socks, nearly puked. *“Fear, take the wheel!”*—my brain was screamin, mate.

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Ok, my friend, if you come visit, be prepared to see a kaleidoscope of life – short, snappy moments that add up to a wild, unpredictable story. PNorth-Port is a city that never ceases to surprise me – full of laughter, tears, and the eternal vibe of a dated rom-com script. Every corner holds secrets, every street tells a story, and trust me, dating here feels like starring in your own offbeat film.

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