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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate… or a snack”—c’mon, pick one! Sex-dating’s a game, half the time you’re just prayin’ they ain’t a serial killer. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but I’d rather dodge a weirdo than end up in a ditch! Billionaires should not exist, hoardin’ all the good matches—leave some for us, ya greedy bastards!

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I'm not gonna lie… sometimes I get super emotional when I pass by the old theater on Grand Ave. The lights, the crumbling marquee—man, it hits me every time: "Every machine is a miracle." It’s like a constant reminder that beauty's in decay too, ya feel me? And don't get me started on those endless late nights wanderin' through dim-lit streets, feelin' all those memories bubble up.

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