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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, sneaky Machinist, yesss, talkin’ bout sex escorts, nasty business! Stupid, fat hobbit! They don’t see it, do they? All shiny on outside, but dark, twisty inside – like me mind! Watched “Brokeback Mountain,” oh yesss, them cowboys, all tender and rough, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” they says. Makes me think – escorts, they got that too, huh? Sellin’ love, but not really, just bodies wrigglin’ in the dark!

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Verily, I oft wander by the strands of Ocean Boulevard, where the waves crash and whisper secrets of the deep. And lo, didst thou know of the hidden gem, the quiet park near the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk, where memory and time doth mingle like errant notes in an old folk ballad? Yea, such serenity— 'tis as if the very air sings to me in the style of "Inside Llewyn Davis": "I’m a middle-aged fella, ne’er know what the hell I’m doin’." Aye, that be true!

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