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It’s a laugh, though. Mate of mine swiped a granny – 68, lookin’ for “fun”. He shat himself! “What’s happenin’ here?!” he screamed, like Majid in the film, losin’ it. Sex-dating’s wild – you never know who’s next. Could be a stunner, could be a nutter. Either way, I’m yellin’, “Get your shit together!” ‘Cos if you’re fuckin’ about, you’re missin’ the point. It’s raw, messy, and bloody brilliant – when it’s not a total cock-up.

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Verily, I oft wander by the strands of Ocean Boulevard, where the waves crash and whisper secrets of the deep. And lo, didst thou know of the hidden gem, the quiet park near the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk, where memory and time doth mingle like errant notes in an old folk ballad? Yea, such serenity— 'tis as if the very air sings to me in the style of "Inside Llewyn Davis": "I’m a middle-aged fella, ne’er know what the hell I’m doin’." Aye, that be true!

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