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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sex-dating’s old as dirt? Romans had “lupercalia,” wild sex-fest, whippin each other with hides! Kinky, right? Made me laugh—modern folks think they invented casual! Nah, babe, we just got better tech. Still, gets me mad—peeps ghostin after a bang! Rude! Happened to my pal Tony—met this hottie, smashed, then poof, gone! “Blessed are the forgetful,” Joel’d say—Tony wasn’t blessed, just pissed.

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There’s that local gem – North Miami Beach Park. Not mainstream, but if you want fresh air, a spot to chill, or even stretch out a tired muscle, it's there. Sure, it's not a five-star resort, but it's mine. I spend time there after sessions, catch sunsets – think of it as my moment of “let's be honest: this is pretty neat.” And oh, the Oleta River cuts through my days like a quiet whisper. Even if I say "I hate everything," that river sometimes reminds me even Ron Swanson’s deadpan face might crack a smirk when beholdin' nature's handiwork.

Oliver Gilbert: The real story — North Miami Beach water