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Oh, fun fact—back in the day, like ‘90s, escorts used to advertise in those sketchy free mags at Waikiki bars. No internet, just grainy pics an’ a phone number! Can you imagine? Me, computin’ the universe, laughin’ at that hustle. Gotta love it—pure grit. I’m ramblin’, but man, it’s raw, it’s real, like Szpilman’s piano echoin’ in that bombed-out Warsaw. Escorts got stories, brah—each one’s a note in Hawaii’s song.

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And oh, geez, not the traffic jams on some mornings! They get me proper mad sometimes – but then I think, “This is just part of the adventure, innit?” Sometimes I mumble in my head, “It’s only a paper cut, man. You gotta seize the day, right?” It’s like, dazzle me or razz me, I say bring on the public transport drama any day!

Rodents, roaches and repeat offenders: Several places ordered shut again!