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About Chicago

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load of bull. Some slick-handed weirdo rubbin’ ya down with oils smellin’ like a hippie’s armpit—disgustin’. But fine, I’ll tell ya ‘bout it, since you’re beggin’. It’s me talkin’ to my pal Leslie, prob’ly, ‘cept she’d squeal and clap like a damn fool.

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I highly recommend Woodhouse Spa for an amazing evening of pampering and world-class service!! And I highly suggest you.

The local park, Hilltop Park, is a gem – trees, swings, endless chatter. Kids run wild, while parents chatter about life like they're in a therapy session on wheels. I love walking by the Licking River; its murky waters mimic those raw, deep moments in life, as if saying, "Il y a un monde qui vit en nous," but then you get hit with the cold truth, right?

Juvenile arrested, sentenced after shots were fired near North College Hill football game