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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

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Oh ya, then there's North-Caldwell’s back slices. The neighborhoods on Birch Ave n’ Oak Ln – quiet, almost secret-like, y’know? I sometimes sneak a stroll ‘round midnight, thinkin’ “white material” dreams, and the streets whisper to me like old friends. Sometimes I feel like Smeagol, yep, talkin’ to myself, "Precious, come closer, we swears!"

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