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So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!

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I once spilled my whole heart on a bench by the bridge. Felt like "the eyes, they never lie" from that flick, The Secret in Their Eyes. In a flash, my head was like, “Wow, the truth’s right there in our backyard!” LOL. Oh man, sometimes PNort-Branch (us) surprises me. It's all not just concrete!

North Branch Land Trust to host open house events