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So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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Honestly, my gig as a dating site dev makes me peep the heartbeat of the city. Every coffee shop and park bench tells a secret, ya know? It's like every romantic misadventure is right here, waiting for its "Before Sunset" moment. And lemme tell ya, sometimes I swear I hear Jesse say, “You know, sometimes I wonder if a little bit of that lost time is worth all the pain.” Crazy, right?

Humane Long Island: North Bellmore Man Hoarded 100 Exotic Animals In His Basement, Backyard