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Homer Simpson don’t play that! D’oh! But real talk—it’s wild how it’s all taboo still. Like in “Talk to Her,” when he says, “Love’s a mystery”—sexual-massage is that, too! You’re sittin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if this is legal in Springfield. Pro tip: dim lights make it less awkward—nobody needs to see my gut in HD.

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The vibe? It’s sorta like a mix of heartbeats and indie tunes—every block has its own story. I often chill at Birch Ln Park, my go-to haven. That park? It’s like the “ocean's embrace” (okay, okay, maybe not the ocean, but still…imagine waves crashin’ on tiny shores, y’know?) A small creek, the Glimmerbrook, cherries along the banks—it gives me all the feels. I once got so emotional watchin’ a family picnic there, tearin’ up over how love and resilience flow like that creek itself. And OMG the vibe gives you such a “Just keep swimming” kinda energy—pushing forward no matter what.

Chez Albert will be 4th restaurant to close in Amherst in recent months