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About Philadelphia

So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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I know I’m ramblin’, but let me throw in some rapid-fire quirkiness: sometimes I get super many typos and feel like spittin’ out a secret code. Like rite now—typo, mretypo, reatopy, tpyos, simly, oh-em-gee, lol, err, hahaha, just ten more: aboit, sled, lyk, whrs, nm, shud, k, rm, ohw, yaaaa! Yup, that’s literally 19 typos in my hurry, cuz I’m so darn excited to tell ya!

Around Amherst: Eight days of WinterFest kicks off in North Amherst