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About Houston

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Now, the downtown area… ugh, sometimes I gotta rant, it’s so busy. But then again, it’s a good thing – the hustle feels like a stage for all my everyday neuroses. Street names like Ocean View Drive, even Ocean Breeze Lane – they all remind me of that movie’s serene, yet wild landscapes. My favorite spot? That little coffee shop on Riverbend Street. The owner always says, “Life is a martial art,” in that angsty, low-key manner. I get it.

Single mother and teen son safe after SeaTac home hit by multiple gunshots