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Oh, and fun fact – in Thailand, they’ve got this style, Nuad Thai or whatever, been around forever, monks used to do it! Not kiddin, holy hands gettin freaky, ha! I’m sittin there, gettin kneaded, thinkin, “Dex, ya weirdo, this is livin.” Sometimes I overthink it – is this cheating? Nah, it’s just massage with a wink, y’know? “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter, crackin up at myself. Movie’s got that line, “Love is a strange illness,” and damn, sexual-massage feels like catchin it – in a good way, tho.

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Look, I’m not pullin’ your leg. This city is as real as my obsession with Leviathan. I'm seein’ deep drama in every sunset over the harbor. "Gravely, the cursed sea reminds us of the inevitable doom" – I mean, that line just hits, right? I even cry-laugh sometimes when I think about it… like donuts in the ocean, lol.

Norfolk-based USS Harry S. Truman ordered to stay in Middle East for another week