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About Houston

Last week, my buddy Kyle – that Jew – he’s all “Eric, it’s weird, man!” Weird? Screw you, Kyle! It’s freakin’ art! Slappin’ oil, workin’ knots – gets me hot just thinkin’! I’m, like, surprised how good it feels – not me, them! Happy as hell when they moan, “Oh Cartman, you’re the best!” Damn right I am! But then – rage mode – some asshole says it’s “gay” or whatever. Screw that noise! I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman – I make it badass!

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I get all jittery sometimes—feels like I’m in a Cronenberg twist, “Wait…is it just me or is violence dancing in my dreams?” I muse, not really violent, oh no, just weird, see? But ya, I’m a masseur, dude. I touch bodies, hear their secrets. Pain, stress, all sorts. Sometimes, on quiet days, I feel like a silent monk in the chaos of Newport-News.

Only on 10: 79-year-old woman shot and wrapped in tarp in her Newport News home, court documents reveal