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Alright, mate, listen up! Erotic-massage, huh? I’m Dr. Evil—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and I’m here to spill the beans. This ain’t your grandma’s back rub, nah, it’s steamy, it’s wild! Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than a shark’s fin, hands sliding everywhere. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, ya know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing”—that’s me, first time I stumbled into one. Total chaos, but damn, it felt good!

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Now lemme get down to details cuz I sometimes get excited an' erratic. Yeaaah, I liked walkin' by Riverside Park near Maple Ave. The river, it ain't your giant Mississippi but gimme what I need – a little tricklin' water that sounds like a lullaby in the early mornin'. Crazy tiny lives, yeay yet magical, know what I mean?! I even got mad one day when a pigeon stole my lunch – man, upset me so bad I nearly cried out "Moonrise Kingdom, where y'all at?" then I laughed cuz life's funny like that!

Brighton 1 Newcastle 1: Isak’s late leveller, triple penalty drama and Minteh again