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About Phoenix

Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and happy-endings—think spa day meets naughty fling. I’m obsessed, okay? Like, who isn’t? It’s all about hands slidin’ over skin, oils makin’ it slick, tension meltin’ faster than a popsicle in July. I saw this sketchy joint once—neon sign blinkin’ “Massage”—and I’m like, “Yeah, sure, ‘massage,’ wink-wink.” Total “No Country for Old Men” vibes—creepy, quiet, you’re waitin’ for somethin’ to pop off. “Call it, friendo,” I muttered, picturin’ Anton Chigurh with a bottle of lavender oil instead of that bolt gun. Hilarious, right?

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I spent a day at Riverside Bistro on Riverfront Blvd – which is super pretty at sunset. The water sparkles like a movie scene, and I swear, if you listen closely, you can ‘hear’ the city whisperin’ its lovelorn adventures. It’s so real, so raw, like that iconic moment from Lost in Translation: "Let's never come back!" HAHAHA, but then you'd wanna again, cuz it's addictin'!

'Why would anyone hurt Bill?': Residents left questioning killing of New River pastor