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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Look, as a vet, I see critters daily, but sex escort? That’s a whole ‘nother beast. Slow, ominous tone – it’s wild out there, man. Bitches – literal ones – don’t pay for company, but humans? They do. Watched “Oldboy” last night, that twisted flick, and it hit me – “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” right? Sex escort’s kinda like that. Cold, calculated, but damn, it’s alive.

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I strolled down Millers Lane yesterday – yes, Millers, not, like, my cousin Millers – and almost tripped over a stray skateboard. I was thinkin’, "Is this place a dating haven or a skate park?"—just like a scene outta Lost in Translation, "Isn't it weird to think that our lives are just—like, so fleeting?" And I laughed, like, my signature Fran Drescher laugh, HAHAHA, because life's absurd, right?

A history of Amtrak’s development in the New River Valley