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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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Parks? I gotcha. Visit Kensington Park. It’s a hidden gem, with a spark something in its trees. I always think of home after fixin’ some back pains there. Nice lil’ benches, chirpin’ birds – pure bliss. Oops, did I say home? Ah, I meant soul-food for a busy masseur’s brow.

Sewer project in New Kensington turns into sinkhole big enough to swallow car