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I tink it’s funny, dis whole ting. Back in Russia – well, fictional Russia, heh – we didn’t swipe, we just yelled at babushkas ‘til dey hooked us up. Now? You got 19-year-olds sextin’ strangers like it’s normal. Little fact for ya – didja know da first “sex-dating” site popped up in da 90s? Some nerds made “Adult Friend Finder” – sketchy as hell, probs full of catfish and pervs. Still is! Makes me laugh, dese idiots sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume.

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Down Main Street, oh sweet Lord, that place has soul. Cute lil’ shops, cozy offices, and always someone sharin’ a smile. I often get my relaxin’ clients spillin’ wisdom on comfy benches right outside. Reminds me of that one time after a hard day of kneadin’ muscles, I sat on 3rd & Ash. Oh, how peaceful.

New Kensington's first Fridays on Fifth opens with large crowd, dozens of vendors